Hikers are quite limited in the easily prepared food products that they can buy to carry with them on multi-day hikes. It would be nice to introduce some more variety, so I’m always looking for new ideas.

The ideal hiking food should be compact, but most importantly needs to keep for as long as possible without refrigeration. This makes canned food the perfect candidate… Or does it?

Canned Cheeseburger

Okay to be honest, I’m vegetarian, so this was never an option for me anyway… However, I can’t imagine what would possess even the meatiest of meat-eaters to put one of these things in their mouth (or how they could subdue their gag-reflex for long enough to swallow it).

The marketing (see image above) is brilliantly misleading. That thing looks pretty darn tasty, even to me. Unsurprisingly though, the reality is quite different (see image on the right). Just looking at the thing is making me want to vomit. Several reports from various on-line sources do suggest that, while it most certainly isn’t delicious, it can actually be eaten without causing vomiting or death.

To cook the burger, just boil it in the can for 10 minutes. Then after removing both ends of the can, it can be pushed out and ready to eat in seconds. It’s every (meat-eating) hikers dream fast-food. If you take the marketing image as a serving suggestion, I guess you’re supposed to bring along your own salad. However, that would basically defeat the purpose of bringing a canned cheeseburger in the first place.

I’m sure you’ll all be very disappointed to find out that the Canned Cheeseburger is a little tricky to get your hands on, unless you live in Europe. Apparently they pop up on eBay every now and then, so if you’re determined to try one then keep checking.

Candwich

At first, Candwich sounded just as bad as (if not worse than) Canned Cheeseburger. However, with further investigation I realised that it was not, in fact, a pre-assembled sandwich in a can. The can actually contains a plastic wrapped bread roll, a plastic knife, and sachets of your chosen sandwich filling.

Despite this, I’m still finding the thought of any kind of canned bread to be rather off-putting. I’m also thinking I could actually make something much nicer with fresh bread, and still squeeze it into a similar space. With carefully chosen ingredients, this could at least last until day two of a multi-day hike. For longer trips, I think I’m prepared to sacrifice sandwiches.

Candwich is currently only available in the Peanut Butter & Grape Jelly variety, but another flavour – BBQ Chicken – is soon to be released. I have no desire whatsoever to eat a sandwich containing any of those ingredients. Seriously. Never.

I don’t need to do any research in order to come to the conclusion that these would be disgusting, especially judging by how stale that bread looks, even in the marketing photos (they really should have looked to the Canned Cheeseburger photos for inspiration). As an aside, what on earth do they put in the bread to make it stay edible in a can for a whole year, anyway? That can’t be healthy.

Candwich is available from Mark One Foods no longer available. They say they’re not supporting international orders through their website yet, but you can e-mail them if outside of the USA. Good luck with that.

 

Have you tried either of these abominations (please tell me you haven’t!)? What do you think? If you have anything to say, please leave a comment below.

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